Hey y’all! And welcome to my blog, 1guyinNY.
Thanks for taking the time to come check it out.
At this stage I’m not really sure what I have set this blog up for, but I hope it will form its own narrative and theme as I keep posting. Let me explain who I am and what my journey entails, and maybe the purpose of this blog will become clear to both you and me.
At the start of this month (August, 2018) I moved from Southampton, U.K. to Brooklyn, NYC. It is by far the scariest thing I have ever done, but I am slowly learning to settle into my new city, neighbourhood and the cultural differences (which are many, believe it or not!) I am both an British and American citizen, so the move has been less stressful than it would be for others, as I don’t need a visa or green card for permanent residency.
All my life, I have always been dependent on someone. Be it my parents when I was younger, or a partner at the time, or even a best friend of mine (who I love so much). I just felt like I couldn’t do anything by myself. I get very anxious doing silly, tiny, miniscule things that any other person wouldn’t even have second thoughts about doing – phone calls to companies or takeaways, going out by myself, walking into crowded venues by myself, doing anything that may come across as ’embarrassing’ in front of strangers.
I am a trained infant/kindergarten teacher, so most of my job meant embarrassing myself on a daily basis or even a minute basis even. But the anxiety and embarrassment comes when it’s strangers.
So, between building my independence and getting over that stupid fear, added to the fact I love New York City and always have done since I was a child who could watch films set in this incredible city. Add further to the fact I felt I needed to get away from the city I grew up in and its fairly incestuous, ceaseless, miniscule, repetitive and quite frankly boring gay dating scene, and the bad decisions I have made with exes. Plus I feeling my life wasn’t progressing in anyway. I wasn’t progressing in anyway – not particularly professionally, and definitely not in the way I wanted; personally. So, add of those up and what do you get? A big life changing decision, that’s what.
I one day decided I would make my childhood fantasy become a reality and I’d move to The Big Apple. I would throw myself into one of the busiest cities in the world, without anyone there with me. I’d find a job, a place to live, some form of social life by making friends. I do have a couple of people I know, but I certainly don’t want to rely on them.
And if it doesn’t work out the way I planned, and I come home sooner rather than later, I will have achieved my goal anyway: achieving what I have already and done the things I’ve done already whilst being here, I’d return to the U.K. a better version of myself. I have no doubt about it.
I now live in a cute apartment in Brooklyn. It doesn’t quite have the open brickwork and fire escape for reading on like I had always dreamed of, but it’s now home!
It has taken a lot of research and hard work to get me here, and even that is an achievement. But there is still a long way to go. It still hasn’t really sunk in yet that I won’t be leaving to go home again for a while, but I’m sure it will soon. This city is just too sensory-overloading and jaw-dropping to become complacent with it.
I arrived at Gatwick and had a ‘final’ meal with my parents and two best friends, said an emotional farewell to my parents and then spent one last night with my friends in the hotel – they were seeing me off at security. They had made very cute ‘Last Night Survival Kits’ with champagne, sweets/candy, face-masks, foot and hand masks, and (most importantly, according to one friend) tissues.
However, for me at least, I didn’t need them. I kept very calm and emotionless all the way to Security. One friend shed a few tears whilst we hugged, and the other (who is notoriously emotionless unless drunk) balled his eyes out, which was surprising and heart warming at the same time. I kept telling him beforehand: ‘You wont cry when I go, and I want you too and that really annoys me!’
He was upset because him and I have been inseparable and joined at the hip for six years. We used to date, and it didn’t work out (mainly because I was a horrible person toward him) but we stayed friends and have done absolutely everything together, including living with each other again for the last two years. It has always had its ups and downs, and dating has not always been easy. Not because we want to date each other, but because it was always hard to see them dating if the other one wasn’t. It is for sure going to be hard to do this journey without him, yet doing it by myself is the main drive.
So, after a long typing session, I guess the purpose of this blog is to muse on life here and hopefully shed some light on how to get by in this city as a gay, British, young guy by yourself. It’ll probably inform my friends and family of what I’m getting up to I assume there have been lots before me and there will be even more after me, so maybe this will help.
Watch out for tips I have found work, advice I get from others, recommendations for places to go, things to do, and (most likely of all) rants about the differences in lifestyle and culture.
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Enjoy and thank you for reading x x x